After the rain, there is always a rainbow

18. května 2018 v 17:49 | ~Freya |  JednorázovkyMF
Výsledok vyhľadávania obrázkov pre dopyt rainbow

Inšpirácia z reálneho života. Pieseň, ktorú som pri písaní počúvala: Shinedown - Get Up.

!!!!!!!UPOZORNENIE: Poviedka je písaná v angličtine!!!!!


She was changing. There was no doubt about that. Only I was blinded by my love to her, so I didn´t see it. It was not long ago when we got married. We were young, too young probably, but she was my first love, and I loved her unconditionally. She was everything to me. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I was so sure about my feelings and hers, too, that I didn´t pay attention to those little changes in her behaviour. I was only able to see them later, when the pain faded a little. It was quite late when she came home from work that day. I just finished cooking dinner when I heard the door close.
"Hey, sweetie," I shouted, smile appearing on my face as I turned off the stove and came to the entrance room.
"We need to talk," was all she said to me, not even looking at me. She used to kiss me every time she came, but not this time. Her face was pale.
"What is it?" I asked, the little grin on my lips vanished immediately. "What is wrong?" My first thought was that she was sick. Or got fired.
"I filled for divorce," she said quietly, almost whispered, and at that moment, I heard my heart breaking to pieces. She was my everything, how could she do this?
"How... Why?" I asked, my voice trembling. My eyes filled with tears, and so did hers. I started shivering, even though it was hot outside. I couldn´t lose her. I just couldn´t.
"I´m sorry, honey, but I had to do it," she whispered, tears falling down her cheeks. "I love you, I really do, you mean a lot to me. But I need freedom. I need to be free, and this... This is not what I want, what I expect from life. It´s too restrictive, I feel like suffocating. I can´t breath. I´m sorry, honey, but it´s the best for us."
And then she left. I hadn´t seen nor heard of her for several weeks. She didn´t pick up my calls, her things disappeared from our flat. The only thing she left behind was her wedding ring. With that, she ripped my heart out and I thought I would never be able to feel love again. I couldn´t sleep, I almost lost my job because I couldn´t concentrate, and every single weekend since then I didn´t remember how I got home, that´s how I drunk I was. The pain had gotten worse and worse with every passing day. I thought I was losing it.
I saw her for the first time since that day on the court. The trial was short, we got divorced right away. I didn´t object, I had given up completely. We had no kids, neither a living of our own, so there were no obstacles. She looked happy that day. Really happy. She blossomed, while I faded away. That was killing me even more.
It took me six months to get myself together at least as much that I could finally focus on my work again, and another six months to stop thinking about her every single day. Slowly, I started meeting my friends and family again. The nights were tougher, however. I overworked myself on purpose to be too tired to be able to think of her. Several months passed when I again started to feel like a man needing the touch of a woman. However, every single time I tried, I ended up running away with the thoughts of her and everything we´d been through together. And again, I remembered nothing about how I got home. I was unable to find out where I´d made the mistake. Was I too acquisitive? Or jealous? I never hurt her, I never spoke ugly to her, we barely argued. I did everything I could for her, so she would be happy. I adored her laugh. She was so beautiful then. With time, the pain changed to discomfort, but it was bearable. I could sleep withouth having her in my dreams. I could smile again. I was finally able to see the beauty of other women. However, I was still unable to make closer contact with any of them. I was afraid. Hurt. Angry.

One morning, I woke up with a terrible headache, and I knew this had to stop. I moved back to my parents´ house, I changed jobs, I sold the car we used while being married. Everything that reminded me of her, I threw away. Except our wedding rings. I wasn´t able to. Maybe one day. I locked the memories with her deep into my heart. I started travelling with trains and every morning, I found myself standing on the railway station, enjoying a morning coffee and those several minutes I had before going to work. Nothing exceptional was going on, nobody bothered me, except a few familiar faces saying hi and stopping by for a short chat. However, one colder March morning, I noticed her. She was sitting there, on the stairs, with a book in her hands. She looked like a high-schooler, and she was looking at me. When she realized I was looking back at her, she quickly looked away, but I noticed that smile appeared on her face. I grinned. Cute, I thought and I didn´t pay much attention to her. However, this repeated the next day. And then two days later. And I realised how beautiful she actually was. Then, two weeks passed, and I found out I was enjoying it. After three weeks, we were exchanging looks and smiles, and one day, when I was leaving for my bus to work, I waved at her. She didn´t wave back, but smiled the most beautiful smile. Then, I hadn´t seen her for a while. Maybe she got sick, or went somewhere away. Or there was something going on at her school. But then, she appeared again, and when she saw me, she smiled again, even more broadly. As if she were happy to see me again. So I waved at her again. And she waved back. I got that butterfly feeling in my stomach. It was such a long time since I had felt it last time. We never talked, but the smiles and little waves three times a week in the mornings were enough. And I started thinking, if she was worth it. Could I open up to that high-schooler? Could she help me find my lost feelings again? She was definitely hot. And beautiful. And cute, in a way. She persuaded me that day, when she approached and gave me a small piece of paper. She didn´t say anything, she just gave it to me and quickly left. I felt a smile appearing on my face. I opened the paper, and there was a number with her name. Yes, that day, I got sure. I would try to get closer with her and overcome my pain from the past. I wanted to be happy again.
 

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Komentáře

1 Sayuri Sayuri | E-mail | Web | 18. května 2018 v 18:40 | Reagovat

Bolo to krátke ale obsahovalo to veľmi veľa pocitov. Páčil sa mi začiatok, páčil sa mi koniec.
Stred bol smutný. Nemám rada také ženy. Fakt. Akože úsmev "miláčik" bumbum, "rozvod!" a prečo? "chcem byť ešte voľná!" ach, fackala by som. (Jo, viem... neviem, nepochopim take prípady.)
Ale páčil sa mi ten muž. Že vedel, kedy bojovať a kedy prestať, že sa vzchopil a že ide životom ďalej :)

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